He comes and goes because you let him. He realizes that this is a pattern that you accept in your relationship with him. This will continue until you start to recognize the repetitive behavior (signs) and acknowledge them verbally. Bad habits are difficult to break and take a lot of work and patience to overcome. You probably already know what to say to him. You just need to find the inner strength to say it, and the courage to hear what his response may be. Respect yourself enough to take that step and require more of him.

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