How do I elope in secret?

Technically marriages are a matter of public record, so you really can't get legally married and keep it a secret. The closest you can come in the U.S. is to keep the ceremony a secret by doing it inside and not inviting anyone. You will still both have to show up at the courthouse with identification to get the marriage license; however, this can be done at any court in the state you want to be married in. So if you are worried about running into someone you know at the courthouse, put a good hour of road between you and your hometown.